Before you continue reading, I want to emphasize that this post covers a topic that people view very differently. This is highly subjective, and I don’t believe a right or wrong approach exists. So please consider this content more as a friend’s perspective rather than a guideline or a maxim set in stone. I write partially from personal experience, having faced a situation where my life was at stake.
No matter what we do in our final moments, the end result remains the same: death.
However, our attitude during this process will determine whether the transition is peaceful or distressing.
My reflections on death are deeply influenced by Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, so these thoughts are not solely my own; I’m paraphrasing his in stoicism embedded ideas. Contemplating his teachings daily has made them part of my outlook, and perhaps they may resonate with you as well.
Death is always near, approaching us at any time, and we shouldn’t ignore its shadowy presence. Many people say they don’t fear death itself but rather the pain and suffering that might accompany it. Aurelius suggests that nature itself addresses this concern: if pain becomes unbearable, we die, and suffering ends. If we feel pain, it means it is bearable. And if that pain increases to the point of being unendurable, it ceases with our passing (as far as we know). Thus, pain is manageable, and fear of it need not amplify our suffering.
Our subjective experience of pain is often intensified by our own fears and anticipation.
Nature has set a limit on suffering, and we should trust its judgment on what we can endure. When our ego clings to life, it creates unnecessary suffering.
This is the meditation I hope to hold when my time comes: if we simply feel what there is to feel, without judgment, we can face death gracefully. When the time arrives to let go, we can meet it with calm acceptance. I’m not suggesting we abandon a fight against disease or danger—there’s a time to fight. But once the point of no return has been crossed, we must yield. I’m talking about the moment when the point of no return has been crossed—the event horizon, if you will. It’s true that I can’t speak from direct experience, as I faced death and prevented it because I fought. I didn’t go beyond that, so I can’t claim to understand it fully. This is simply an educated guess.
I’m aware that this meditation is easier said than done.
Death Meditation:
- Recognizing the End of the Struggle: First, I must recognize and accept that the struggle for survival has ended; the line between life and certain death has been crossed, with no chance of return or rescue. Fighting now is futile and only brings more suffering to me.
- This means that I must accept that I have to leave everything behind, including unfinished business and loved ones.
- I understand that worldly matters will be taken care of by others. People will grieve, but as time passes, life goes on for them.
- Surrender and Curiosity: By relaxing and accepting my fate, I allow myself to become curious about what lies ahead.
- Running with the Juggernaut: Like a donkey bound to a wagon, I choose to move in harmony rather than resist, understanding that life’s forces are beyond my control.
- In Stoic thought, this image reminds us that there are forces in life we cannot change—natural events, the actions of others, and various external conditions. By resisting or lamenting these realities, we only add to our suffering, just as the donkey does by pulling against the cart. A donkey tied to a cart must follow its movement, whether it likes it or not. If the donkey resists, the journey becomes difficult and painful. But if it walks in step with the cart, the journey becomes smoother, even though it doesn’t change the reality of being tied to it.
Epictetus famously expressed this concept by advising people to “want what happens,” as if we are tied to our circumstances as the donkey is to the cart. This doesn’t mean passively accepting everything but learning to navigate challenges without resentment or resistance.
- In Stoic thought, this image reminds us that there are forces in life we cannot change—natural events, the actions of others, and various external conditions. By resisting or lamenting these realities, we only add to our suffering, just as the donkey does by pulling against the cart. A donkey tied to a cart must follow its movement, whether it likes it or not. If the donkey resists, the journey becomes difficult and painful. But if it walks in step with the cart, the journey becomes smoother, even though it doesn’t change the reality of being tied to it.
- Awareness of the Present: I turn my attention fully to the present, observing thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise.
- Letting Go of Judgment: I avoid judging or labeling any experience— I just let everything be.
- Acceptance and Serenity: I accept everything as it is and prepare to leave this realm calmly and serenely.
- Ultimate Freedom: I release all control, letting go completely.
- This is ultimate freedom.
Conclusion
Stoicism teaches us to focus on our response to events rather than the events themselves, finding resilience and peace in our perspective.
Through reading literature and watching movies, I’ve come to admire characters who face death with acceptance—even awe. For example, while I haven’t seen the 2016 movie The 5th Wave, I recently came across a scene where a massive wave crashes into a coastal city (presumably in Thailand). As everyone around her panics, one woman stands still, observing the deadly force with a mixture of calm and horror. Unlike the others, she doesn’t try to escape; instead, she might have accepted her fate, understanding there’s no way out. As I mentioned, there’s a time to fight, but also a time to accept the inevitable.
Link: The 5th Wave (2016) – The End of the World Scene (1/10) | Movieclips
Timestamp: 2:57